The Quest

Men need direction.  There must be something tangible lurking in the future that they can work towards,  otherwise they wander and end up accomplishing little.  I suppose that's why God said in the Old Testament "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make an help meet for him." (Genesis 2:18).  They need someone or something to give them purpose and one could look at the "help meet" as a goal or quest as well as a person.

Mythology and legends are full of stories of men who are driven by some quest.  Most of the time, that quest is thrust upon them, created and given by some outside source.  That source can either be a person (a prophet or oracle) or fate itself.  The hero hardly ever chooses his quest probably because the man wouldn't know what to choose if it were left up to him. 

Women in mythology tend to not need a quest.  Sometimes they are goddesses who decide their own goals and destiny.  Sometimes they are women like Odysseus's wife who are left with a choice - do I find another husband or do I wait?  In her case, she planned out a test that would offer her the best solution.  Sometimes they are like the Amazons who choose to be independent warriors, bound by nothing and no one.

Heroes of legend have a task or a number of tasks given them that they must accomplish in order to achieve some kind of status.  Often that status is that of being a husband and father as they often must save the maiden in distress.  They cannot achieve this without first undergoing the preparatory process that is their quest.  For one reason or another, women did not typically have rights of passage as the men did.

Just as the hero needed to fulfill a quest to save the princess, men today tend to stay aloof of relational commitment because they have not become "men" yet.  Women get upset at men for this.  They get frustrated because they for the most part are prepared for that kind of relationship.  I believe women are typically blessed with the ability to form lasting relationships without having to undergo a process of refining similar to the men.  Though I know many women who undergo trials and have careers and other pursuits, I believe they don't necessarily need these in order to be ready for marriage.  They are like the Amazons who want to live an independent life or they are simply waiting for their knight to find his own golden fleece. 

So, the men need to buck up and get going on their quest and women need to wait for their properly prepared heroes to find them.

What makes this difficult is that sometimes the quest is put on hold for one reason or another, or there remains a heretofore undiscovered quest.  This could be why relationships are such a game.

It feels good to be validated

Walking on BYU campus today I counted 3 people sporting Superman shirts.  Batman shirts?  None.  Chalk one more up for the Man of Steel.

Zelda and James Bond

If you've ever taken a look at the bottom of my blog, you will have noticed a couple pictures of things I'm obsessed about.  You may have been wondering "If you're so obsessed, why have you never mentioned it anywhere else?"  Good question, and I guess now is the time to share my thoughts and interpretations on one of them.

First of all, Zelda is not the name of the boy hero in the series (a common misconception).  It is the name of the princess that said hero is called upon to rescue.  His name is Link, fyi.  Why is Zelda so important?  Well, it actually all comes down to the most important element in the story - the triforce.

The triforce is what you might consider a relic left by the goddesses Din, Nayru and Farore.  The legend goes that after they created the world, they returned to the sacred realm and left the triforce as a symbol of their power and as a gateway to the sacred realm.  It was said that if a person accessed the triforce and touched it, the triforce would bestow great power and grant the wishes of that person.  If someone with good intentions accessed it, the land of Hyrule would be blessed with peace and prosperity.  You could guess what would happen if an evil person touched it.

And so it went that an evil man named Ganondorf snuck his way into the sacred realm, and when he touched it the triforce split into three pieces - power, wisdom and courage.  He was given power, but wisdom and courage were granted to two other worthy individuals.  Zelda was given wisdom and Link was given courage.  Outraged, Ganondorf captured Zelda and sought after Link so that he could have all three pieces and cover the land in darkness.  Link's task was to restore peace where Ganondorf had placed monsters and curses throughout the land.  He was to grow in strength so that he could eventually confront and destroy Ganondorf and save the princess.

There you have it, the Legend of Zelda in the smallest nutshell I could manage.  Now for a glimpse into why this isn't just some cheesy story for kids.

I bet you didn't think there were any similarities between Link and Bond, but there are.  First, Link is somewhat of a lady killer.  Of course there's Zelda, but in every game I have played there are a number of girls vying for Link's attention.  It is important to note that Link is a virtuous hero and would never go sleeping around.  All the same, it seems that wherever he turns, he has some girl impressed by his swagger.  It makes sense, because after all he has the triforce of courage.  Women want someone who isn't afraid and who they can count on for protection.  He is trustworthy, selfless, dependable and kind, all things that make women fall in love with him.

With Link, it's all about getting the right gadgets.  The difference is that instead of having someone like Q make them and offer them before his mission begins, Link has to find them as he goes along his quest.  The gadgets/weapons are always significant and Link could never defeat Ganondorf without them just as Bond always ends up having to use all of his gadgets by the end of the movie in order to get to the bad guy.

Bond is easily recognizable in his suits/tuxedos holding a gun of some kind and Link is instantly recognizable in his green tunic holding the Master Sword.  Sure there have been times when Link is seen without his signature getup, just as Bond isn't always wearing a tux, but it always makes an appearance.

Many people are confused by the chronology of the Zelda series and indeed it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.  There are like 5 different Links with different backgrounds depending on which game you are playing. Similarly, Bond movies jump all over the place and there are a bunch of different Bonds.

Oh, and Link can take on an innumerable number of baddies all at once because he's just that cool.

Of course, this merely scratches the surface of why I find the Legend of Zelda so fascinating, but that will have to be discussed in future posts.

Maybe

Maybe...  What a wonderfully easy word.  Utilizing that word provides no obligation thereby avoid giving offense, right?  I guess that depends on who you talk to, but I submit that maybe = "I'm too scared to say no".

You may have noticed that a number of people don't use this word correctly.  Merriam-Webster's Learner Dictionary has this to say about the word maybe: "It is used when you are talking about an action that has a chance of happening in the future."  Imagine that.  How often do you hear someone use this word who actually thought there was a chance of something happening in the future?  Not very often.

Take facebook for instance.  Why is there a "maybe" option when you are invited to an event or party when it usually means those people won't be there.  I don't want it to sound like I think this party looks lame or that I don't like the person inviting me, so I click maybe.  The fact is I think the party doesn't appeal to me or I feel like I don't know the person well enough to want to come.  Personally, I think they should create a thumbs up-thumbs down system similar to Pandora.  If you give an invite a thumbs down, there would appear a bubble that says "Thank you.  We will no longer bother you with parties/events of this kind in the future.  Would you like to block all invites from this friend?"  Wouldn't that be nice.

Here's one of my favorite things people say:

"Are you coming tomorrow night?"

"Maybe.  Who will be there?"

Am I not good enough for you?  I guess that means we're not really friends.  Why do people ask this all the time?  Frankly, it fascinates me.  The best is when people say this even when they have nothing else/better planned.  Either they don't think hanging out with me is all that alluring or they are looking for someone special they want to hang out with.  Face it.  In a group of friends there is usually at least one who has more than platonic interest in another friend.   If that special someone is not there, the interested party tries to figure out a way to hang out with him/her instead of hanging out with you.  Hence, why "maybe" is such a good word.  I would hang out with you if so-and-so were there too.

I'm definitely guilty of playing the maybe game.  So if ever you ask me to do something and I say "maybe", don't count on me at all, and I expect about the same from you.  There might be a chance, but it's a 0.83% chance.  Maybe if my future wife was going to be there...

Concluding thoughts on Persuasion

I just finished the book Persuasion by Jane Austen.  Yes, it took me forever to finish it, and no it wasn't because I didn't like it.  I got a little distracted by a series of epic books that I will probably write about in the future.  I wanted to give my opinions on this book's conclusion.

I have enjoyed this story since I watched one of the movie versions some time ago.  It fascinates me that the only reason why there is a story is because two people couldn't talk to each other.  It's full of awkward moments that could have been avoided had a conversation taken place.  The ironic thing is that the book often comments on the value of meaningful conversation.  The hard part was that such a conversation required a lot of humility and courage.  The reader continues with anticipation wondering how and when the two heartbroken love birds would talk about their feelings.

Eventually, Captain Wentworth writes his heartfelt letter.

Though I think the story has a lot to offer, I must honestly admit that I am somewhat disappointed by the ending.  As I said, I waited with anticipation for them to have a difficult conversation.  I wondered who would be the one to initiate it and how the awkwardness would play out.  Unfortunately, instead of Wentworth taking Anne aside to confess his unchanged feelings for her, he writes a letter.  True, many a woman say the letter is beautiful and so romantic, but I don't think it was enough.

For all those ladies out there, put yourself in Anne's shoes.  Imagine being in a wonderful relationship that is on the cusp of marriage, but you eventually end it because someone you hold in high regard persuades you to do so.  Eight years later, you regret your decision and when you see him again, you find that your feelings for him have not changed.  But, you broke his heart and now he avoids you when he can.  Picture him eventually letting go of his pride and wanting to confess he still longs to marry you.  What would you think if you got an email from him in which he writes that he has been a fool and wants to be with you.  Lovely and romantic though the message may be, I can't help but think that most ladies would be a little disappointed that he couldn't muster the courage to talk face to face.  The man is practically asking you to marry him, and he does it through an email?  Come on, that's kind of lame.

Also, it wasn't like the ball was in Wentworth's court.  She had just as much responsibility to fix their relationship.  She broke it off for crying out loud, so if anything, the ball was in her court.  After she got the letter, she naturally kind of freaked out and didn't know what to do with herself.  Still, she didn't try to find him or anything, and instead was escorted home.  What was she planning on doing, think about it for a while?

Now I'm not saying that the book is all that bad because it eventually describes how Wentworth met up with her and they talked about everything.  He explained why he acted the way he had and she told him that she was sorry that she was so prideful.  It all worked out in the end, which I guess is all that matters.  Maybe this book teaches that, in real life, relationships aren't perfect because people aren't perfect.  In a perfect world, there wouldn't have been a story because they would have talked the moment they met up again.  Maybe that's why I like the story.

Batman vs. Superman

A lot of people really like Batman.

Of course it makes sense when you think about the recent success of the new Batman movies as compared to the total flop that Superman Returns was.  People can connect with Batman because, besides the fact that he's a billionaire, he is a totally normal guy without any super powers.  He wasn't bit by some radioactive spider, nor does he come from another planet.  He is simply portrayed as a man who is fed up with the degradation in his beloved city and so decides to use the talents and resources he has to fight it.  The fact that he does such a good job considering how human he is gives him a lot of credit.

It's easy to empathize with Batman as he lives a lonely life with only his butler knowing who he really is.  Sure he has friends both as Bruce Wayne and as Batman, but there is no one else who understands him as a whole person.  Batman's closest acquaintance - Commissioner Gordon - doesn't even know very much about him.  Many likewise feel that there is more to them than what their friends and acquaintances observe from the outside.  A lot of single men and women, like Batman, are also lonely because they don't have someone to share their lives with and who can understand all their intricacies.  Additionally, some like to think that there lingers a hero-in-waiting part of them deep inside just as Batman had it in him all along to rise above his socially elite status to become the selfless hero that Gotham needed.

Batman's weaknesses are pretty much the normal, everyday pressure points that people have.  He is a typical man who can get distracted at times, isn't always the smartest, nor the strongest but somehow finds a way to get the job done.  People see the same flaws in themselves and therefore look up to Batman and how he overcomes his challenges.

You see, an important difference between Batman and Superman is that essentially Superman is an alien and is therefore hard to connect with.  He may look like a normal guy, but the man can't get hurt by the normal things.  Bullets bounce off of his bare chest for crying out loud.  He is so good that he only has two weaknesses - Lois Lane and kryptonite.  With these two issues out of the picture, Superman would be absolutely perfect.  Those who choose Batman over Superman often site this as one of their main arguments.  They reason that Superman is too fictional and just plain boring because he seems so perfect.

Now let me explain a little why I have been and will be a loyal member of the Superman camp.

Superman is the most selfless superhero out there.  He comes from a planet that was destroyed and he never knew his parents.  He could have decided to be bitter and lived his life taking advantage of everybody around him because of his powers, but chose instead to use those powers to help these strangers.  Batman fights for his beloved city, while Superman protects a planet that is not his own.

Superman is a symbol of freedom and everything good.  Whenever you see that iconic "S" symbol, you may get a sense of patriotism and generally good feelings (unless you're a hater of course).  I believe that's because Superman fights for the same ideals that our founding fathers had.  He fights for those who are too weak to help themselves and he fights for the freedom to live in peace.  Of course, most super heroes have similar ideals, but Superman has always been the iconic symbol.

Superman has various references to Christ in his story.  I'm not being sacrilegious or anything, but I think the symbols are beautiful.  He was sent to earth as an only son from his father as a gift to humankind, and his powers are renewed from the light of the sun as Christ is the light of the world.

Superman doesn't decide to be a vigilante in order to help the world.  He doesn't need to make himself the scape goat for the world's problems while Batman purposefully makes the decision to become Gotham's Dark Knight.  Superman finds a way to be a symbol of good and hope while still being the hero the world needs. 

The Ravenous Wolf

Hunger is a serious issue.  I believe I don't and probably can't understand how blessed I am to have food readily available to me any time of the day.  I do understand that countless people go days (we're not talking hours, or maybe 1 day) at a time without getting something to eat and that blows my mind.  I wonder how they do it.

But, this post isn't about starving kids in Africa.  It's about the wolves among us who make their appearance at restaurants and other places where one can get food.  These people come in all shapes and sizes.  They can make their appearances finely dressed or look like they just rolled out of bed.  They often seem like average, ordinary people - people you could see yourself hanging out with.  That is, until their fangs come out when they don't get what they want.

I'm talking about the kinds of people who readily lose their temper and congenial behavior because they are hungry and something doesn't go their way.  It could be because their order got messed up.  It could be that the food wasn't as good as they had hoped.  Or it could be because they were wanting to use their Subway card at the CougarEat Subway only to be told that this particular Subway doesn't accept those cards for some reason (obviously a very hypothetical example).

This particular person seemed nice enough and very familiar with Subway while she was making her order.  She wasn't even overly particular with her order or anything.  But, when she was told that those cards have written on the back that Subway reserves the right to choose which stores accept or decline Subway cards.  She got very upset and obnoxious with the staff, then stormed off as soon as her food was paid for.

Why do people have to lose their cool in situations like this?  It wasn't like she didn't get her food.  It wasn't like her food randomly cost more than it should.  It wasn't like her food was irreparably ruined.  It was just because she couldn't get the points on her card.  The only issue here was a simple misunderstanding.  The rules were nicely and effectively communicated, but for some reason it wasn't enough.

I've worked in a number of restaurants and have dealt with the ravenous wolf and let me tell you, it can get quite ridiculous.  I've hung out with friends who have turned into the wolf and have gone on dates with girls who have flashed their canines.  I typically slowly stop hanging out with those friends and certainly make that the last date.  I believe this kind of behavior is only acceptable if someone has deliberately been wronged or if we're talking about a toddler.  Call  me naive, but I believe that people generally don't deliberately try to hurt others.  If you're still acting like a toddler, then there are some serious issues that need to be worked on.  Nobody likes to see the ravenous wolf.