The Quest

Men need direction.  There must be something tangible lurking in the future that they can work towards,  otherwise they wander and end up accomplishing little.  I suppose that's why God said in the Old Testament "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make an help meet for him." (Genesis 2:18).  They need someone or something to give them purpose and one could look at the "help meet" as a goal or quest as well as a person.

Mythology and legends are full of stories of men who are driven by some quest.  Most of the time, that quest is thrust upon them, created and given by some outside source.  That source can either be a person (a prophet or oracle) or fate itself.  The hero hardly ever chooses his quest probably because the man wouldn't know what to choose if it were left up to him. 

Women in mythology tend to not need a quest.  Sometimes they are goddesses who decide their own goals and destiny.  Sometimes they are women like Odysseus's wife who are left with a choice - do I find another husband or do I wait?  In her case, she planned out a test that would offer her the best solution.  Sometimes they are like the Amazons who choose to be independent warriors, bound by nothing and no one.

Heroes of legend have a task or a number of tasks given them that they must accomplish in order to achieve some kind of status.  Often that status is that of being a husband and father as they often must save the maiden in distress.  They cannot achieve this without first undergoing the preparatory process that is their quest.  For one reason or another, women did not typically have rights of passage as the men did.

Just as the hero needed to fulfill a quest to save the princess, men today tend to stay aloof of relational commitment because they have not become "men" yet.  Women get upset at men for this.  They get frustrated because they for the most part are prepared for that kind of relationship.  I believe women are typically blessed with the ability to form lasting relationships without having to undergo a process of refining similar to the men.  Though I know many women who undergo trials and have careers and other pursuits, I believe they don't necessarily need these in order to be ready for marriage.  They are like the Amazons who want to live an independent life or they are simply waiting for their knight to find his own golden fleece. 

So, the men need to buck up and get going on their quest and women need to wait for their properly prepared heroes to find them.

What makes this difficult is that sometimes the quest is put on hold for one reason or another, or there remains a heretofore undiscovered quest.  This could be why relationships are such a game.