Thursday, December 29, 2011

Who Do You Think You Are?

I love driving, mostly because I have for years driven my car with the idea that driving should be exciting. Now, there's a big difference between exciting and crazy. Crazy is the same as selfish and stupid while my kind of exciting equals controlled fun. While I'm all about driving exciting, one of the things that ticks me off the most in life is having to deal with people who drive crazy.

We're talking people who drive like they are the only cars on the road. These are people who don't pay attention to what is going on around them. Or how about those who don't know what a signal is supposed to be used for (they make sure to signal right in a right only turn lane but fail to signal before cutting you off).

When I encounter these kinds of drivers I typically yell at them in Icelandic or, on occasion, Italian. Those who make me really upset, I reserve my most vicious curse - something about poop coming upon them and their family.

Something that really irks me is when I'm driving behind a line of cars and the car behind me pulls some lame move to get right in front of me. That's when I yell out "Hver ert รพรบ?" which means "Who are you?" Why do you think that you deserve to cut in front of me gaining you little to no advantage? How much time is this person really saving? I think the research says they average .137 seconds while driving 50 mph. I can't believe they have the audacity to jump in front of the person waiting in line.

After saying something in a different language, what is then my favorite thing to do? Fly past them. Inevitably the person is an idiot and has no real sense of what is going on with the traffic. This makes it really easy for me who loves to find the perfect holes and faster lanes that allow me to drive past these jerks. I get great satisfaction out of asserting my dominance by showing them my tail lights.

Lesson: if you're going to be a jerk on the road, at least have some skill or finesse about it.

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