Not-so-hidden Meanings

"Can I help you?" 

What does this phrase mean?  Oh sure, on the surface it sounds like the person saying it cares enough to go out of the way to help.  The thing is that people don't ask this question that way.  Nine out of ten times, this question should actually be phrased, "Who the heck are you and what are you doing?"  You see it all the time, yet why do people continue to try to hide it?  Most of the time, people know exactly the real meaning behind it, yet for some reason, we think that they are oblivious to it.  Personally, I would rather someone be straightforward.  Don't try to make yourself seem cordial and selfless with me, when in reality you can't wait to kick me out the door. 

Here's another interesting phrase:

"I hope you're happy."

No you don't.  You would like to convince yourself of this, but you don't feel it.  When is this phrase ever used besides with resentment and bitterness?  I think I have yet to find such an instance.  

How about this one that unfortunately I have used on occasion:

"I was totally going to call you."

Let's be honest, no I wasn't.  Sure the thought crossed my mind, but it had crossed my mind a number of times before without me ever doing anything about it.  For some reason or other, I had decided it wasn't worth making that phone call.  Of course, there are times when this statement is true, but usually it's a cover up for "I thought about calling you but I was either too proud to follow through with it or didn't want to give you the impression that I was interested."  I didn't call because I was too scared or didn't want you thinking I would call you all the time.

Then there is one of my personal favorites.  I hear this one all the time on campus when old friends run into each other:

"We need to do something sometime." 

Sure, you would like to do something with me sometime, but it's obviously not high on your priority list or we would have done something already.  I'm fine with friends moving on to different stages of life.  I'm alright with knowing that I'm probably only going to be a fond memory or an afterthought, but I get kind of annoyed when you say this to me knowing that we'll most likely keep living separate and distinct lives.  If only we could just tell each other, "We had some great times, but now we have different friends and different lives.  I would love to relive some of those moments, but sadly we can't and now we must move on."  Or a simple "I miss hanging out" would suffice.  

If only it were okay to tell people how we really feel, what we really think.  I think I need to move to Spain where I could learn to say exactly what I'm thinking.