Persuasion

I started reading the book Persuasion the other day.  Yes, it is a Jane Austen book, and no, I'm not reading it to impress a girl or because I was forced to in any way.  Call me what you will, but I enjoy a little Jane Austen for a few reasons.  I like trying to figure out and understand people.  Since relationships are a big part of human behavior, I like reading books and watching movies that have various perspectives on relationships. 

I particularly like this story for its characters and for its premise.  What I find most fascinating about it is the fact that the story is structured around a very awkward set of circumstances that was only awkward and heartbreaking because of a lack of communication.  All the two main characters needed to do was have a conversation about past decisions, regrets and a longing for a future.  Neither of them could tell the other that they had not given up hope in the other and that they still cared for one another.  A rather simple conversation that could have relieved a lot of pain.  I like it because I see it in so many people today.  People hurt because of a simple lack of communication.  Of course, these people tend to avoid having that conversation because it's hard to do.  What they don't realize is the fact that maybe at first such conversations are difficult and awkward, but they typically relieve a great deal of future awkwardness.

Anyway, there was one line I read that I continue to think about and wonder.  It reads:

"A few months had seen the beginning and the end of their acquaintance; but, not with a few months ended Anne's share of suffering from it." 

I find it remarkable that getting emotionally involved with someone can have such powerful and lasting effects on a person.  Even something as simple as a crush can happen at the spur of the moment, but when the crush spurns you, it usually takes much longer than just a moment to get over it.  I wonder how this can happen.  What is it about our brains and bodies that makes us want to cling to a relationship, however deep or shallow it may be?  Why are we hardwired to have these feelings and emotions so strong that when the relationship doesn't work out, it takes so long to sever and let go of those emotions?  I don't have the slightest idea and don't think I'll come up with an answer any time soon. 

All I do know is that we are hard-wired to desire to belong to someone.  This is true even for those who try to convince themselves that they don't need someone, that they prefer to be alone.  I would dare suggest that it is likely that, in the past, they desired to belong to someone so strongly that the heartbreak is still taking its hold.  Some might say they prefer to be alone because they think that this innate drive keeps them from being free and in control.  After all, how can one be free when one is bound or belongs to another?  The beauty of this concept is that somehow, belonging to someone in the end give us more freedom and much more happiness.  It frees us from selfishness and insensitivity.  It gives us a deeper sense of purpose.