The Flirt

Flirt... I don't even like that word. In fact, I have called it the five-letter f-word. Why do we need it and why do we do it? That's a question I have tried to answer for some time and don't think I'll be able to understand it as much as I would like. I have wondered about how this all got started and when. When did our ancestors decide that it was acceptable to act like a complete idiot in order to win someone's affections?

Here's what I think. Dating is difficult. When emotions are involved, confusion easily takes over. What did she mean when she said that? What was the message behind that body movement? Let's face it, we try to read too much into things and tend to get confused. Flirting is a form of communication. It's a method of behavior and speech that hints that you are interested. It makes it easier for the other party to know where you stand and what your intentions are.

Why flirting works on guys? Guys like to be the ones in charge or at least feel like they are. Since a lot about flirting has to deal with vulnerability, guys get hooked by it because that way they feel like they are the ones in control of the relationship. That isn't to say that guys don't flirt because they do. I would imagine it works similarly on girls but I'm not a girl so I can't go there.

Now, there are a few kinds of people that gets labeled as "flirts".

Of course there is the easily recognizable flirt that acts ridiculous because he or she lacks the self-confidence. These are the kinds of people that don't really know who they are and how they fit in socially. They care about what others think about them and therefore do what they can to get people to like them. Conveniently, flirting is a pretty sure-fire, easy way to get people to like you (as long as you don't go overboard).

So are there flirts that do have self-confidence? Of course. One of those is the person who acts like a flirt because he or she really wants to get married. Since flirting is an effective way to get dates, these people use it to go on as many dates as possible. This person doesn't necessarily need the attention and isn't looking for friends. This person views it as a tool.

The final flirt that I can think of is that person who can't help but be seen as a flirt by others. It is in his or her very nature. I'm talking about someone who lacks a personal bubble and doesn't see the bubbles around others. Physical touch is often seen as a flirt. I'm talking about the individual who is really friendly to everyone and personable with everyone. Even someone who gives out compliments every third sentence can be seen as a flirt. I feel bad for these poor people who get all kinds of attention by those they really don't want attention from. Often they can't help that their personality makes them seem flirtatious. These people know who they are and aren't necessarily looking for a relationship.

There you have it, my thoughts on that five-letter word. Silly yet effective. Necessary? I'm still trying to figure that one out.